girls in fights:Your eyes are uneven and you're fat and you're an attention whore and you're dumb and I bet the only reason you have good grades is because you sleep with your teachers. Also, I had sex with your boyfriend. And also I deleted you off facebook and unfollowed you and I hope you live alone for the rest of your life and even your cats run away from you. PS your mom is sleeping with her yoga teacher. Bye, cunt.
I have the best news in the whole entire world right now.
You won’t even believe this.
But, I went to this thing called the Foothills Bridal Extravaganza. It was this thing where you go around and visit different vendors, caterers, florists, wedding coordinators and planners, and representatives for different wedding venues in our area, and a some officiants of ALL kinds that do non-denominational, or non-religious ceremonies… Great stuff, really.
So, my grandmother bought us tickets to go to this thing and see all the different vendors, and when you buy your tickets, you get 2 raffle tickets for free to enter a raffle to win a whole bunch of different prizes, and you could buy extra raffle tickets for a dollar each so, Gramma bought five extra tickets.
There were drawings for minor prizes every thirty minutes, and then at the end, there was a drawing for two grand prizes. One was $500 cash, and the other was a free wedding package valued at roughly $4000.
And guess what…
I won it. I won the wedding package. My entire wedding is completely paid for except for any upgrades I might need (e.g. More than three hours with the photographer, more than three hours of DJ time). All of the starting fees are waived, so even if I need more time with the photographer or DJ or anything, it’s a $50 an hour rate after the first few hours.
I WON A FREAKING WEDDING DUDE. A WHOLE. ENTIRE. WEDDING.
ACTUALLY I PAID FIVE DOLLARS.
BUT WHATEVER. FIVE DOLLARS FOR A WHOLE WEDDING IS NOT A LOT.
but then I know people who are waking up will comment on them & the comments will get sent to my phone & keep me from sleeping, & it’s incredibly complicated to set my phone on silent rather than vibrate for some dumbass reason, & I don’t want to turn my phone off in case I miss a call from my fiance or something important or interesting from anyone else, so I don’t bother. :[
Wow, I should win Run-on Sentence of the Year award.
Are we the same person? You’re telling my life story right now. Also, run-on sentances are the best. I mean if you rush your typing like I do. Lol
My phone is now totes decked out in Sailor Moon.
My background is the inner senshi, my lockscreen is the outer senshi, my ringtone is the original Sailor Moon theme song (not the dub), and my text tone is the sound effect that goes with the Luna Pen. All I need now is a Sailor Moon phone case and I’m good to go.
Why do I give themes to every technological device I own?
So… I’m on tumblr on my phone and the little “Don’t use missing e or we hate you!” thing popped up. Notice any thing strange about that statement? I’m on my phone.
Did you guys know missing e had a mobile application now? Cause I sure as hell didn’t.
So for shits and giggles I agreed to uninstall it, and it proceeds to give me instructions on how to uninstall missing e for safari.
I’m not even using an apple product. I’m on a droid y’all. What the fuck?
Tumblr. Get your act together. Seriously.
Why does tumblr hate missing e so much?
Also, I’m trying out this new swype keyboard thing. Its weird, but I think I like it?
Ignore me I’m rambling and playing with my new keyboard thingy.
The following day, I attended a workshop about preventing gender violence, facilitated by Katz. There, he posed a question to all of the men in the room: “Men, what things do you do to protect yourself from being raped or sexually assaulted?”
Not one man, including myself, could quickly answer the question. Finally, one man raised his hand and said, “Nothing.” Then Katz asked the women, “What things do you do to protect yourself from being raped or sexually assaulted?” Nearly all of the women in the room raised their hand. One by one, each woman testified:
“I don’t make eye contact with men when I walk down the street,” said one.
“I don’t put my drink down at parties,” said another.
“I use the buddy system when I go to parties.”
“I cross the street when I see a group of guys walking in my direction.”
“I use my keys as a potential weapon.”
The women went on for several minutes, until their side of the blackboard was completely filled with responses. The men’s side of the blackboard was blank. I was stunned. I had never heard a group of women say these things before. I thought about all of the women in my life — including my mother, sister and girlfriend — and realized that I had a lot to learn about gender.
(This list will be forever in-progress. Please add on as you see fit).
Challenge sexist jokes, such as dumb blonde jokes or jokes about rape.
Avoid using words such as “bitch”, “hoe”, “slut.”
Recognize when you “zone out” when women are speaking, when you value a man’s opinion more than a woman’s, or when you ask a man for information or advice rather than a woman.
Recognize times when you “zone out” when a woman is speaking because you are sexualizing her.
In group efforts, take on tasks such as photocopying, note taking, making phone calls, or providing childcare, which are usually given to women; encourage women to take on male-dominated tasks such as leading meetings, or acting as a spokesperson.
Use gender-neutral language (ex. Firefighter, chairperson).
Do not tell a woman how she should understand, express, or conceptualize experiences of discrimination and sexism.
If a woman is offended by your actions or words, do not use tone arguments. If she does not accept your apology, recognize that she does not owe you anything.
Check in regularly with your intimate partner(s) to make sure they feel comfortable, fulfilled and empowered by your intimacy.
Do not make sexist jokes about how your partner (or any woman) drags you to go see chick flicks, forces you to go shopping, has you whipped, or is irritable because she is menstruating. Challenge others when they make these jokes. Avoid playing the role of the long-suffering man who has to hold a woman’s shopping bags and put up with her frivolities and vanity.
Be polite, thoughtful, and considerate to women because they are individuals who deserve respect, not because you’re a “gentleman” or because of chauvinistic ideals.
When a woman is completing a task, refrain from stepping in and telling her or showing her “the best way to do that.” Of course, if she asks for your advice or requires help, feel free to do so. But recognize that women are just as competent and capable as you.
Apologize if you realize you may have offended someone, whether they mention it or not. Do not say: “If that offended you then I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Instead, frankly tell them: “I’m sorry I did that and I recognize it wasn’t okay. I’ll try harder next time.”
Do not use expressions such as “grow a pair”, “be a man”, “man up”, or “stop being a bitch.”
Reject forms of media and entertainment that promote sexism. Don’t excuse sexism and discrimination just because “it’s a really good movie.”
Recognize that just because you are a feminist or work to challenge sexism does not mean you lose gender privilege.
Do not be offended if you offer to help a woman and she rejects your help. Although you may genuinely have meant to be a good citizen by offering to help lift heavy objects or holding open a door, accept that the woman does not need your help, and that this does not make her a “bitch.”
Recognize that while some women do hate men and do discriminate against men, that this sort of discrimination occurs in isolation, while sexism against women is backed by centuries of literature, scientific discourse, power/knowledge, philosophy, media representations, “common sense” discourse, etc.
Realize that representations of women that you might find positive or fair might not be empowering to women. Notice that the vast majority of “positive” female characters or depictions in the media are highly sexualized to appeal to a male audience.
Understand that much of what you’ve been taught to take for granted (that you are allowed to have an opinion and to voice it; that you can take up all the space you need; that you can become whoever you want; that you can pursue any career or dream you like) is often painfully untrue for women.
When anyone tells you to stop, or says “no”, or does not actively give consent during any sort of physical contact or intimacy, immediately stop what you are doing. Do not sulk. Do not interrogate if the person is unwilling to explain. Do not complain or make them feel as though their choice to decide what sort of intimacy they want is not an empowered, safe choice.
Do not make explanations such as “I didn’t mean anything by it”, “It was a joke, you’re just sensitive”, or “I’m not sexist, I have a lot of female friends.” If you have offended someone, listen carefully and learn from the experience.
Do not police women’s bodies by deciding that “women shouldn’t plaster their faces with makeup”, or that “women should stop dressing like sluts to please men.”
Thank you to everyone who has been reblogging and adding to this discussion. I recognize that this list is certainly simplistic in that it arguably supports a gender binary, and that it glosses over issues of race, class, sexual orientation, age, and so on. I felt this list wasn’t a sufficient place to properly address those issues, but as many of you have mentioned many of these actions can also be taken by allies looking to challenge racism, homophobia, etc.
I’d also like to address accusations that this list is an attempt to belittle men or to discriminate against men. This couldn’t be further from the truth. This list began and was expanded on during working groups I’ve led and participated in while researching for my thesis paper. My goal is to highlight and deconstruct the ways in which patriarchal society damages and harms men. I take a position that favors coalition across borders, because I believe that we cannot begin to properly tackle patriarchy until there is an alliance between people of all genders. During these working groups, many of the men commented that they believe in equal pay, they welcome women in their classrooms, they abhor the idea of raping or harassing anyone, and they truly see women as equals. However, when it comes to their everyday lives, they still find sexism slipping in, usually in very subtle ways. A large part of our work was having conversations with men, and finding concrete, realistic ways men could challenge the patriarchal ideals they’ve been taught. I’ll repeat again that these actions are not exclusively reserved to men—they apply to people of all genders. However, the specific purpose of this list is to help men challenge sexism, because I cannot count the times a man has told me, in a very defeated tone, that this work feels overwhelming.
I understand that some men feel this list shames them for being men. However, I want to repeat that this has never been my intention, and will never be. I understand that being called out for the privilege you experience in a society that favors, prefers, and upholds masculinity can be an uncomfortable experience. However, I would invite you to try to consider how uncomfortable it must feel to wake up every day and know that you will experience at least one of the moments of sexism on this list. And to feel as though there is nothing you can do about it. I believe 100% in gender equality. However, if we want to even begin to work towards this goal, we need to work on the inequalities that exist in our own lives and beyond our lives. We need privileged people in society—white people, straight people, men, etc.—to stand up, to acknowledge their privilege, and to stand with us as allies. Thank you to everyone committed to doing this work.
I bolded the part that I wanted to comment on.
This is so relevant in my relationship with Andrew, it’s not even funny.
I think sometimes asking questions (the interrogation part) can be okay. Depending on the context, of course. When Andrew questions why I don’t want to have sex with him, he can be a bit interrogative. Even if I don’t want to explain it. The majority of the time I don’t want to explain, it’s to save his feelings, and me avoiding talking to him about it caused a minor breakdown the other day when we had sex. He had been pushing and asking and worrying about why we weren’t having sex as often as before, and yeah… He was all “WHY AREN’T WE DOIN’ IT?” But it wasn’t like he was trying to make me feel bad, he was honestly concerned because he thought I was mad at him, or he was doing something wrong, and frustrated and “IS OUR SEX BROKEN?” It wasn’t just because he wanted to bone, it was because he was concerned for me, and worried as to why our sex life had so suddenly dropped off and stopped completely. Not because he wanted to push me to do something I don’t want to do.
He complains. Anyone with a sex drive would complain about not having sex. Before all this junk started happening with me whenever I wasn’t getting sex, I complained. Complaining about not getting laid isn’t always a bad thing.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that there’s a LOT of different context where asking questions and complaining can be okay, and just as much when it’s not okay.
I just got the feeling from that point that’s like “Don’t ask questions, or voice your opinion.” I know it’s in situations where someone says no, but it’s like… I don’t know. I understand the whole “Stop if they say no, and don’t make them feel bad, and don’t question their decision” part. But, to me, it seems like that point would make someone suppress communication. Like, I don’t see a problem with someone (like Andrew) asking, “Is there something wrong? Are you okay? Why don’t you want to have sex?”
Like… I understand, but I don’t really like the wording, I guess? In a situation where someone’s being pressured at all this applies. But, in a situation where it’s two people and one is trying to instigate gettin’ busy… Meh. I dunno.
When people think that science is a fucking immutable fact.
Anyone who knows me knows that science is pretty much the most important thing in my life. Some folks have religion? I got science and Carl Sagan.
But the thing is, SCIENCE (as opposed to just science) doesn’t give you the right to fuck with other people’s identities just ‘cause SCIENCE doesn’t it back em up.
Science doesn’t mean that something is wrong just ‘cause we can’t prove it. It just means we don’t have proof of it YET. (Yeah I think that everything can be explained scientifically. I just don’t think we have the technology to explain it all and I don’t think we ever will.) Science isn’t about “WELP CANT EXPLAIN IT IT ISN’T REAL GO HOME NOW.” It’s about “Well we can’t explain it. Someone look into that.”
And here’s the thing. Science could “prove” a lot of shit we know isn’t true now. Science could prove the sun orbited the earth. It could prove that heat was particles. It could prove that the continents didn’t move. It said doctors didn’t need to wash their hands. It said that there were only four elements—water, air, earth, and fire.
Science can be fucked up. Science can be FUCKING WRONG.
Stop acting like it’s a goddamn immutable thing and shut the fuck up. —Andy
But it’s more than this. Science never ever proves anything.
Science is interesting in things that are “falsifiable”; things than can be proven wrong. There are other things which are non-falsifiable, and those are uninteresting to pure science, simply because there’s no way to prove them wrong.
Do gods exist? What about invisible, silent, flying, purple elephants? We can prove either of those exist, but we can’t prove they don’t exist, and so science doesn’t say, “They don’t exist!”, it simply says, “Yeah, don’t care.”
This is very important for people to understand though. We haven’t proved gravity, or optics, or genetics, or evolution. It’s impossible, because, to take gravity as an example, the only way to truly prove gravity works is to test it on every permutation in the entire universe and somehow understand that you have the whole set finished!
So science doesn’t prove things “correct”, it attempts to prove things WRONG.
Someone comes up with an idea. I think gravity pulls an object toward the earth! This person tests it, not to show they’re right, but trying to find an instance in which their hypothesis is wrong.
Eventually someone shows, actually, gravity seems to pull any two objects together! More testing is done, etc…
The thing is, at no time has anything been proven correct. Even today, we haven’t “proved” that gravity works only one way, nor that mirrors and lenses work a particular way all the time. We simply know that they seem to work a particular way, given our observations, and this allows us to use them in a rather consistent way.
All of the natural sciences are like this, including mathematics, for what it’s worth. There we have the added idea of these basic “rules” that we call the “Peano axioms”. From those ideas, the number system can be described.
But, this is getting away from the point. Science isn’t about proving things right. You can’t do that. You can only show that something is wrong and adapt your ideas to include that new information.
Yoni is the Sanskrit word for vagina. It has many beautiful connotations to it such as fountain, place of rest, and home.
I would love to start incorporating this word into my regular language but I’m not so sure if I could pull this off.
Any opinions? On this particular question or on one’s feelings toward different words for vulva or vagina in general?
THAT’S WHAT MY GREAT GRANDMA CALLED IT!
Serious! I had a UTI when I was with my great gramma once, and I kept telling her my “body” hurt (that’s what my Gramma called it when she was giving me a bath, and she would tell me to “wash my body” meaning my whole body including my coochie) and she was confused to she pointed to my coochie and said “Your yoni hurts, sweetie?”
I had no idea what that meant, and I had no idea that that was the Sanskrit word for vagina! I thought it was just something my great gramma made up. lol
I’ve been staying out of the otherkin tag for the most part, because hate.
(My computer just tried to autocorrect “otherkin” to “gherkin” like the pickle… Wrong, autocorrect. So. Wrong. We are not pickles. Well, some of us might be. But, still. Now I’m wondering if there are any otherkin pickles. I would eat you. Out of love, of course.)
I follow tons of otherkin blogs, and I tend to be pretty up to date on the hate the ‘kin community gets. But, it makes me really sad, so I tend to remove myself completely from the hate we get…
But, today, after some lengthy dash scrolling, I found a post from a feminist blog that I follow. Normally she’s all about not being erasing of other people’s identities, and stuff like that… But in this post she actually said that otherkin was stupid, and not a valid identity. I understand that a lot of people have a hard time grasping the otherkin identity, but c’mon.
There’s simply no need to be a douche about it. If you can’t wrap your mind around it, and even if you don’t think it’s a valid identity, there are much more pleasant ways of saying it. E.g. “I just don’t understand otherkin as an identity.” It could just be left at that…
I just don’t understand why it’s okay to attack one identity, but not another. She also says that asexual beings don’t have the right to use the word queer, because of whatever… I don’t even remember.
But, the last time I checked, your identity is just that. YOURS. If you identify as a queer femme asexual heteroromantic genderfluid unicorn, then that’s your damn identity and no one has a right to tell you that you’re wrong.
It made me feel all yucky and sad inside, because I had been under the impression that this person was you know… Accepting. It’s just a stinky situation and gives me sads.
I started off on a two-lane highway in the middle of some lovely farmland, and I deduced that I was probably in Ireland, based on the signs that I saw. And then I started on my quest to find an airport. I followed the two-lane highway, as it pointed towards a city 15 km away, and did not stray from my journey towards this single name—Wexford.
Then I found that Wexford was a lovely seaside town, and I abandoned all desire to find an airport because I think I’m staying here.
I’m pretty sure that’s not how this game is supposed to work.
I did the same thing when I found myself in a city called Columbia Tennessee, on Double Branch Road.
I didn’t want to leave, because Double Branch Road is this windey dirt road that goes through rural Tennessee. Ohhh, I love my home state. <3
0 - 32 = low (most people with Asperger Syndrome or high-functioning autism score about 20) 33 - 52 = average (most women score about 47 and most men score about 42) 53 - 63 is above average 64 - 80 is very high 80 is maximum
Your score: 60
Your score: 22… omg that’s bad… oh well
Your score: 30. Well, shit.
Your score: 70. ^_^;; heh
65. This surprises me. Seems low for me.
66. That seems about right. I’m a bit of an empath… But, I choose to tune out people’s emotions a lot… It can sometime take a toll if I let myself get too invested. That’s why I don’t like being around a lot of people.
Of course. I agree with you. You are the only who can say when you get marry or not. You're your own moral and conscious individual. I am not imposing my views on anyone. I just think, for most people, it's a little too early. As for most people are still developing in the early 20's, all the way to the age of 25-26. That's not to say we all become stagnant after this age but it's around this age when one has a more level headed idea of the world and self.
For most people, possibly. But, in reality the age of appropriateness depends on SO MANY THINGS. That’s why some people lose their virginity at 14, and have no regrets, and others choose to wait til they’re 18, or 25, or til their married. Different life experiences cause people to grow, change and mature in completely different ways.
For instance (don’t take this as me throwing a pity party) I’ve been through a WHOLE LOTTA SHIT that has made me grow up and mature faster than most other people my age. I’ve seen a marriage last for 32 years when the marriage started at 17. I’ve also seen marriages fall apart in which the couple was in their 30s when their relationship started. And vice verse.
I know I’m still growing and changing. I know Andrew is, too. But, one thing and Andrew and I have that most couples our age don’t is a heavy dose of reality. We know our marriage will be a struggle. We know it may not last, and we know that we could be completely different people three years from now. But we also know that right now, this is it. We love each other more than anything, and we’ve been together going on 2 years, and have had our fair share of issues that almost tore us apart. But, we always pull through and this is something we want to do.
So, when other people tell us we’re crazy, stupid, “too young”, or naive… It tends to grate on our nerves. Definitely more on mine, than his.
We have level headed views of the world and our selves. Like I said, we know it’s not going to be easy, and we know it may not work out. But the fact that we know it, I think, says a lot for where our relationship will go.
Well, I am not judging you for it. If you're engaged or married. That's cool, it's all good.
Oh, haha. I’m sorry. I was being a dick, wasn’t I?
It’s nothing against you. It’s just that I’m only 20, and I’ve had so many people tell me how stupid, or naive I am for getting engaged when it’s really no one else’s business but mine and my fiance’s.
I guess the point I was trying to get across is that you might feel like getting married in your 20s is too early for you, but no one else has the right to tell me that I’m being stupid for the choices I make in my life. It’s ageist, and just all around not cool.
So, I mean. If you don’t wanna get married in your 20s, don’t. But don’t tell me that I’m wrong for doing what I feel is best for me.