May 2012
10 tags
So, this happened to me yesterday...
[Unrelated note: From now on, I will tag all life-stories, shitty happenstances, and general me-ness (excluding pictures) with “This happened to me.”]
As any follower I have had for more than a week or two would know, I’m a caregiver for elderly and disabled people. Non-medical, non-certified CNA.
Yesterday, I went to a client’s home for a 9 hour shift. First of all, she...
"Atheists are the most distrusted minority in...
thefremen:
cobracunt:
cosmopolitan-fascist:
tsotchke:
iamnineonefour:
socialistictendencies:
awesomefuckyeahmotherfucker:
They see one poll where atheists came in last for “most acceptable for children to marry” and “most acceptable as president” and they go all apeshit
Atheists are the most mistrusted. We have a black President. We do not have an atheist President.
Black...
body hair is not unfeminine
And a lack of body hair is not feminine.
I wish Andrew would understand that so we could shave our legs at the same time, then rub them together and bask in the glorious feeling that is two freshly shaven legs rubbing each other.
GOD DAMN THAT SHIT FEELS SO GOOD.
2 tags
theglassmenageriesecrets replied to your photo: I got mah hairs cut. XD
PURTY! I LIKES IT ^_^
I LIKES YOU.
2 tags
“First of all what I feel is “avian”
Not like the idealized:
Doe-eyed greeting...”
– crowgoblin, excerpt from “On tengu-ness”, 2004. (via liminalbeast)
Fucking beautiful.
(via raijuu)
Oh hey same
(via carrionbird)
Yesssssss.
Good, Vonnie Be: Bro-Life →
admetum:
Month 1
Bro, I am only 3 brewskis in, but I’m totally wasted. I love the sound of that bass drop. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of Skrillex is my favorite lullaby.
Month 2
Bro, today I learned how to bench my own weight. If you could see me, you could…
I… This… What… I quit the internet.
6 tags
70% of women* CAN'T orgasm through penetration...
shakethecobwebs:
So if you’re one of those people who just happen to think you’ve only been with the 30% of women who can, let me tell you something:
You’re wrong.
Women’s bodies aren’t these terrible, mysterious things.
There is a button called the clitoris, and if you play with it enough, good things will happen.
Women, you are not abnormal if you can’t achieve orgasm through penetration...
1 tag
shakethecobwebs:
nessfraserloves:
shakethecobwebs:
donotcallmeashley said: I’m so sick of hearing from guys “well I’ve never been with someone who didn’t cum” UM YEAH IM SURE
The best I’ve ever heard was “I know they had orgasms, tho, because they quivered.”
I was like “The vagina is LITERALLY a muscle. We can flex that shit.”
Men tend to think if they thrust for 30 minutes,...
6 tags
So, this one time a lady spit her gum out into my... →
Not even kidding. I submitted this story and it got published.
Which is cool. But, they mixed it up a little when they wrote it up. It was the mother, not the daughter that spit her gum out in my hand.
A full grown ass woman spit her gum out in my hand.
I'm going to bed now.
2 tags
Watchbreakthrough-by-design:
shesfiction:
myspacefamosity:
nicki-minaj-a-trois:
AHH OMG WHAT
WHST
HAHAWTF
So, any theist want more proof of evolution?
Here it is.
Definitely not evolution… But, whatever.
“We let Willow cut her hair. When you have a little girl, it’s like how can you...”
– (On why he let Willow cut all of her hair off)
Read more: Will Smith On Allowing Willow To Cut Her Hair: ‘She Has Got To Have Command Of Her Body’ | Necole Bitchie.com
(via vivalavulvaa)
Woot woot. Glad to see Will Smith sharing this, I totally agree.
(via thefremen)
6 tags
Things that happened to me today:
I drove to North Knoxville for no reason to go to work, only to have my client’s husband be too drunk to answer the door.
Come home to play D3, talk about weed, some jackass is completely against smoking weed and compares smoking weed to raping a child.
Almost sliced my foot open with a pressure washer.
Get called and asked to work with my abusive ex’s grandma. Twice.
Went to my...
2 tags
EXPLAIN YOUR WHOLE TUMBLR IN ONE GIF.
soullesshusk:
kasespaetzle:
darthempress:
liquid-thought:
lola-vega:
alannispippins:
2 tags
Reading Gale/Madge Fanfic...
And suddenly…
And guess who’s on punk’d right now on me TV.
Unf. Dat accent, doe.
2 tags
4 tags
Okay, show of hands-
fattypolitic:
How many people by now have no idea that eating more fruits and vegetables, lean protein, and drinking plenty of (unpolluted) water is better for you than processed food?
I know it. Everyone knows it.
What these arrogant shits who keep aiming to “teach low income people” is not something we don’t know.
If you want to “teach” me something about food then teach me how to make $30...
3 tags
Scratch that.
I’m gonna poop. THEN play diablo.
3 tags
I'm going to go play diablo.
Wheeee!
Anonymously try to seduce me.
Bonus points if you do it as a fictional character of your choice. Seriously, those ones are fun.
OMG. Those of you that have followed me for any significant amount of time will know which character(s) to message me as.
And there will be no need for seducing if you choose correctly.
2 tags
“Depression isn’t just being a bit sad. It’s feeling nothing. It’s not wanting to...”
– J.K. Rowling (via esurient)
Perfect. When I was younger, I used to say stuff like this. “I don’t want to die. I don’t want to kill myself. I just don’t want to be alive anymore.”
jeremy-ruiner:
theneverendingdrums:
auditoryassault:
I hate the word homophobia.
It is not a phobia.
You are not scared.
You are just an asshole.
what if someone had an actual phobia though
like with people who are arachnaphobic
a gay person comes into their house and they stand on a chair screaming and swatting them with a broom or something
#or they get a really huge glass to put...
Watchlgbtlaughs:
The Colbert Coalition’s Anti-Gay Marriage Ad
This is from a few years ago, but it’s an absolutely hilarious parody of N.O.M. nonetheless.
OH GAWD. THE HOMO STORM GOT ME!
Sad News
saminal:
No new kitten today.
Saw him and his sister playing together and just couldn’t separate them.
On the plus side, we should be getting a manx kitten some time this week instead!!
I have a manx!!!! XD
1 tag
Anonymous asked: Seriously, (and I know you probably already know this so I'm sorry if it's unwanted advice) in a few years, you will not remember half of the stupid things from your wedding and reception that people insisted you had to have. You'll remember the important things, like who was there and the things you said and how you felt. The rest of it is just dressing. Try not to stress too much,...
2 tags
LOL @ Wedding Etiquette.
ELL OH ELL.
Can we just talk about all this crazy wedding “etiquette” tid-bits I keep seeing?
Like rules and shit for what to do and what not to do at a wedding.
What to serve, what not to serve… And it’s basically all “Here’s some really expensive things that you can do to make your day FABULOUSSSSS!”
And then they’re like “save some here...
